It Happened Again
The other day I was flying down a country road, music blaring, headed to meet Kristen to finish up some filming for a special project we’ve been working on.
A song came on that I’ve heard 100 times (Darkest Part by the band RED). Out of nowhere, the heaviest feeling overwhelms me and I’m brought to tears. Not just “oh, there’s something in my eye” tears. I’m talking borderline ugly cry.
This might sound weird, but every now and then God allows me to experience someone else’s feelings. And I’m not talking about feeling empathy for someone. I mean I literally get blasted with feelings that are not my own. Maybe it’s like an intercession kind of thing? I’m not sure.
I’ve written a few times for CDY when this has happened, and every time I had people respond, saying it was written for them. But I never know for sure, and no one likes stepping out like that only to hear crickets.
This was another one of those moments.
I was overwhelmed by a feeling of darkness. Something really heavy, something that was deep inside that someone is hiding, covering up with a mask. Not letting anyone in. Afraid of what others will think if it comes to light. So you continue to bury the feelings of shame and guilt. You continue to wear a mask, crafting your outward appearance of the perfect life.
But it’s eating away at you, and you wonder how much longer you can continue. Continue hiding. Continue hurting.
Continue living.
And again I’m faced with a decision: What do I do with this?
Honestly, I didn’t even know what I was going to write. I wasn’t sure what to say, or where to go with it. And it almost stopped me from writing.
But someone needs to read this, so I’m putting it out there. Even if there’s only one person, it’s worth the risk.
So if it’s not you, no worries. Maybe you know someone who’s fighting some demons. Or maybe someday you’ll fight some of your own.
Or maybe you are right now.
I need you to know something: you’re worth it.
You’re not beyond salvage. You’re not beyond hope. You’re not a lost cause.
You.Are.Valuable.
God thought you were so worth it that he sacrificed His Son for you! I don’t know if you have children, but there’s no way I’d sacrifice my son for anyone (just another reason I’d make a horrible God).
He wouldn’t do that if you weren’t worth the sacrifice. But you were. You are.
God has plans for you. Your story, your hurt, your pain can help someone else. But only if you let go of the fear that’s keeping you chained.
Have you ever wondered why life has been so relentless, why it just never seems to let up?
Our spiritual enemy knows what you COULD be, and fears it.
Read that again.
He’s a master manipulator and accuser. So he lays it on thick, hoping you’ll believe the lies.
It’s time to shine a light into your darkness.
You’re worth the effort. You’re worth the investment. You’re worth the risk of taking off the mask and asking for help.
Here’s your call to action: You need help. Your struggle will dictate what that is, but I’m confident you already know what kind of help you need.
If it’s marital, get with a [Christ focused] marriage counselor. If it’s spiritual, get with a pastor. If it’s an addiction, get with the right kind of counselor or program that can help you.
Don’t think you can do this on your own. If you could, you would’ve already done it.
It WILL take effort. But you are worth it!
Don’t believe the lies that you’re worthless. Don’t believe the lies that it’s just you, that others will think less of you if your darkness is brought to light.
Psalm 40:12-13 (VOICE):
12 Right now I can’t see because I am surrounded by troubles;
my sins and shortcomings have caught up to me,
so I am swimming in darkness.
Like the hairs on my head, there are too many to count,
so my heart deserts me.
13 O Eternal One, please rescue me.
O Eternal One, hurry; I need Your help.
Swimming in darkness. David, who was an amazing man of God, went through his own times of darkness. But it wasn’t permanent. It wasn’t the end. It didn’t define him.
And friend, this isn’t the end for you! It’s the beginning.
1 I waited a long time for the Eternal;
He finally knelt down to hear me.
He listened to my weak and whispered cry.
2 He reached down and drew me
from the deep, dark hole where I was stranded, mired in the muck and clay.
With a gentle hand, He pulled me out
To set me down safely on a warm rock;
He held me until I was steady enough to continue the journey again.
3 As if that were not enough,
because of Him my mind is clearing up.
Now I have a new song to sing—
a song of praise to the One who saved me.
Because of what He’s done, many people will see
and come to trust in the Eternal.
He has something awesome in store for you! But our God is a God of action, and He doesn’t force Himself on us. The ball’s in your court.
-Nick